Spicy RV’s first Friday night we descended upon Chunky’s Burgers in San Antonio, Texas. It would be safe to say Chunky’s was catapulted to national fame when Adam Richman from The Travel Channel’s Man vs Food took up the Four Horsemen challenge. James Wreck of EatMoreHeat had to throw his hat into the ring and see what this burger was all about.

The Four Horsemen burger is ludicrous!

It is touted as the spiciest hamburger in the world, and for good reason. Other than your standard burger condiments, this abhorrence of gastronomical surfeit includes:

• Fresh jalapeño peppers
• Fresh serrano peppers
• *Chunky’s signature habanero sauce
• Dried Naga Jolokia peppers

*Note: Judging by James Wreck’s paroxysmal reaction to this burger for up to 12 hours afterward, the crew members of Spicy RV all strongly suspect there is much more to this habanero sauce than habanero peppers.

To properly exude the magnitude of  James’ agony, the 8 to 12 hours following the event should be properly expressed. Several hours after consuming the burger, we honestly considered  bringing him into the ER. We convinced him to contact a medical professional at Hermann Hospital in Houston, TX, who gave him the following advice:

“James, you’re kind of screwed for the next 8 to 12 hours.”

For your reference, here are the things we purchased for James to help relieve the adverse effects of massive overloads of capsaicin.

• Pepto-Bismol
• 2 quarts of milk
• Gallons of water
• Peanut butter crackers
• Tostito’s corn chips
• Half a loaf of bread
• Zantec
• Rolaids Soft Chews

We had a fantastic time watching him suffer, to an extent.

In our two hours or so at Chunky’s, we collectively noted about a dozen patrons in true anaphylactic shock from eating various types of capsaicin-based elements in the vehicle of the common cheeseburger. I’m not sure if this happens every Friday night, but we saw people running to the bathroom with ice water poured down the front of them, grown men barfing off of the outdoor deck, and young hipster girls with bright red faces consoling one another for the pain they endured from taking a bite or two.This place is insane.

As many people attempted the Four Horsemen Burger that evening,  none of the patrons we noticed were able to conquer the Four Horsemen burger- or even come close.

It’s assumed that some people have the inherent ability to eat fiery foods.  Others; through a combination of masochism and tenacity, have  built a tolerance to extremely spicy things.

The concept behind the Four Horsemen Burger is not catered towards amateurs or experts. It’s to prove that Chunky’s can make the hottest hamburger in the world. For what it’s worth, they’ve achieved it.

Wikipedia’s explanation of capsaicin’s effects on the human body is as follows:

Capsaicin is a highly irritant material requiring proper protective goggles, respirators, and proper hazardous material handling procedures. It is hazardous in cases of skin contact (irritant, sensitizer), eye contact (irritant), ingestion, and inhalation (lung irritant, lung sensitizer). Severe over-exposure to pure capsaicin can result in death; the lethal dose (LD50 in mice) is 47.2 mg/kg.  Numerous other adverse health effects can occur in mammals.

Painful exposures to capsaicin-containing peppers are among the most common plant-related exposures presented to poison centers. They cause burning or stinging pain to the skin, and if ingested in large amounts by adults or small amounts by children, can produce nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain and burning diarrhea. Eye exposure produces intense tearing, pain, conjunctivitis and blepharospasm.

Unless you wish to intentionally feel awful for several hours on end, you don’t want to come anywhere near this burger. However, if you like to spend your evening watching people go into shock and run around screaming, stop by Chunky’s Burgers. You don’t have to get the Four Horsemen Burger, but don’t be a big baby. At least throw some jalapeños on there.

Stay tuned to SpicyRV.com for more adventures on our way to the National Fiery Foods & BBQ Show in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

-Jay Rascoe, A.K.A. GunsandTacos