If you’re watching this and you’re a loyal fan of the Spicy RV, and absolutely love following our shenanigans, then from the deepest cockles of my heart you have a sincere thank you.  Feel free to contact me for your complimentary stash of John Scrovak Fun Bucks as a sign of our appreciation.  Ladies, you can redeem in person (pretend I winked just there).  For those of you new to the RV watching this video, I’d like to explain it a little, but honestly, the Spicy RV is beyond description.  As you may be able to gather from the video, we’re a crew of guys who enjoy spicy.  

We love the spicy so much, we travel the country in an RV eating the spiciest things we can along the way, competing in spicy eating challenges, and seeing what tomfoolery we can get into in each and every town, city, bayou, and backwoods country bar along the way.  We meet some real characters, drink some good booze, and engage in the sort of drunken debauchery every frat guy makes up stories about.  The difference?  We live the stories they make up.  So live and learn, and then get Luvs.  That doesn’t work.  Snap into a Slim Jim!  Damnit that doesn’t either.  Well, for lack of a decent tag line, I’ll leave you with this: we’re the drunk friends you don’t remember meeting last night.  Check us out and share this video with your friends!

Here it is, the spicy tuna roll challenge from Bushido: The King James Version.  Obviously I wussed out.  I can sit here and make a lot of excuses like I hate tuna, and that was 4 pounds of tuna, but I’m not going to do that.  As James will tell you in this video, it’s not as big a spicy challenge as it is a quantity challenge, but it’s enough spicy to complicate things.  

Now despite having foul language like the A-word thrown at him, James made a valiant effort. I’m not going to say whether or not he conquered the challenge, so you’re going to have to watch the video to find out. Now at the end of the video, you will hear the song ‘Take These Wings’ by Mr. Mister playing. If James doesn’t complete the challenge, this song is dedicated to you buddy. If James completes the challenge AND beats Adam Richman’s record of 16 minutes on the challenge, the song goes out to him. With any luck, Adam will hear those notes percolating his eardrums, and if James is successful, the Man vs. Food vs. SpicyRV competitor will be caught up in the moment and make his oh-so-hilarious epic face. Stay tuned ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to Spicy RV.  By now you we love spicy stuff, and I do the stupid human tricks.  And if you don’t know this, just watch a few of our videos.  Anyway, as of our last post you still find us in the Big Easy, New Orleans, Louisiana.  We’ve been following Bloody Mary on a haunted pub crawl to some of the most haunted bars in the city.  We also learned that the ghosts that inhabit the crazy haunted drinkeries have the same love for spicy food as we do.

What I’m doing now is coming to you to bring you a break from all the hauntings and drinkings. Our Bourbon Street adventures diverted with a moment of inspiration. I wanted to wear more beads than anyone on Bourbon. I accomplished that, but I needed a different look. A late night run to the barber fixed that! We had another moment of inspiration after the barber shop that ended up giving us a once in a lifetime moment. Can you say “bead mask”?

Well we made it down to the Big Easy – New Orleans,  Louisiana!  If you’ve been keeping up with the route, which you have because you’re all such super fans, you know we came down here looking for Bloody Mary, a Voodoo High Priestess who was supposed to lead us on a haunted pub crawl, showing us all the haunted bars, culminating in sipping on some Bloody Marys with Bloody Mary.  As soon as we rolled into town, however, we ran into a problem: We had no idea where to find her.

That’s alright though, because we walked Bourbon Street asking folks about her and had a hell of a time.  We eventually found her, and that video will follow, but first, we think you should take a look at the quest to find her.  We interviewed a number of people on our search, like a half drunk mascot.  We found a National Guardsman based out of Nashville, who was willing to trade his $6 hurricane drink for a single can of Lone Star.  Then, we found Willis, from whom we learned a valuable lesson: Yes, he love the Spicy RV, and a bunny love it too.

Enjoy, folks.  Bunny love.

Cruising through La Mesa, NM late on a Saturday afternoon, a local roadside stand owner recommended Chope’s Bar & Cafe a few miles down. He didn’t tell us it was a biker bar, packed to the hilt with members of the notorious Banditos biker gang. He did tell us, however, that Chope’s is famous for having the best chile rellenos in town, and that’s all the Spicy RV crew really needed to hear.

We drove through a massive grove of giant, uniform pecan trees to get to La Mesa. We parked the RV and walked along a long line of around fifty customized motorcycles and a few grizzled bikers smoking outside, eyeballing us warily. As the desert sun began its decline, the dusk colors gleamed upon the heavy tons of chrome.  It was as if we had transported through time and space, right into the middle of a  Tarantino flick. I could hear the muffled sounds of Bob Seger’s “Night Moves”, instantly answering my “Who still listens to Bob Seger?” question.

The bar was loud and packed, though the sun hadn’t gone down. At Chopes Bar, they don’t bother with 12 ounce bottles. You’re either buying a 32 ounce caguama of Tecate or Carta Blanca; or a 40 ounce bottle of Bud or Miller (vs. the standard 32 oz.) We squirmed through the leathery bikers and ordered up. We stayed there until the cafe opened at 5PM, and then we got a bite to eat.  I’ll be writing more about  Chope’s tremendous food on the GunsandTacos blog.

The Spicy RV crew just found the right place at the right time. Watch the video to meet some of the colorful characters at Chope’s Bar & Cafe, La Mesa, New Mexico, including Kat, who we’ve been jokingly referring to as “Mooseknuckle Girl”.

Spicy RV’s first Friday night we descended upon Chunky’s Burgers in San Antonio, Texas. It would be safe to say Chunky’s was catapulted to national fame when Adam Richman from The Travel Channel’s Man vs Food took up the Four Horsemen challenge. James Wreck of EatMoreHeat had to throw his hat into the ring and see what this burger was all about.

The Four Horsemen burger is ludicrous!

It is touted as the spiciest hamburger in the world, and for good reason. Other than your standard burger condiments, this abhorrence of gastronomical surfeit includes:

• Fresh jalapeño peppers
• Fresh serrano peppers
• *Chunky’s signature habanero sauce
• Dried Naga Jolokia peppers

*Note: Judging by James Wreck’s paroxysmal reaction to this burger for up to 12 hours afterward, the crew members of Spicy RV all strongly suspect there is much more to this habanero sauce than habanero peppers.

To properly exude the magnitude of  James’ agony, the 8 to 12 hours following the event should be properly expressed. Several hours after consuming the burger, we honestly considered  bringing him into the ER. We convinced him to contact a medical professional at Hermann Hospital in Houston, TX, who gave him the following advice:

“James, you’re kind of screwed for the next 8 to 12 hours.”

For your reference, here are the things we purchased for James to help relieve the adverse effects of massive overloads of capsaicin.

• Pepto-Bismol
• 2 quarts of milk
• Gallons of water
• Peanut butter crackers
• Tostito’s corn chips
• Half a loaf of bread
• Zantec
• Rolaids Soft Chews

We had a fantastic time watching him suffer, to an extent.

In our two hours or so at Chunky’s, we collectively noted about a dozen patrons in true anaphylactic shock from eating various types of capsaicin-based elements in the vehicle of the common cheeseburger. I’m not sure if this happens every Friday night, but we saw people running to the bathroom with ice water poured down the front of them, grown men barfing off of the outdoor deck, and young hipster girls with bright red faces consoling one another for the pain they endured from taking a bite or two.This place is insane.

As many people attempted the Four Horsemen Burger that evening,  none of the patrons we noticed were able to conquer the Four Horsemen burger- or even come close.

It’s assumed that some people have the inherent ability to eat fiery foods.  Others; through a combination of masochism and tenacity, have  built a tolerance to extremely spicy things.

The concept behind the Four Horsemen Burger is not catered towards amateurs or experts. It’s to prove that Chunky’s can make the hottest hamburger in the world. For what it’s worth, they’ve achieved it.

Wikipedia’s explanation of capsaicin’s effects on the human body is as follows:

Capsaicin is a highly irritant material requiring proper protective goggles, respirators, and proper hazardous material handling procedures. It is hazardous in cases of skin contact (irritant, sensitizer), eye contact (irritant), ingestion, and inhalation (lung irritant, lung sensitizer). Severe over-exposure to pure capsaicin can result in death; the lethal dose (LD50 in mice) is 47.2 mg/kg.  Numerous other adverse health effects can occur in mammals.

Painful exposures to capsaicin-containing peppers are among the most common plant-related exposures presented to poison centers. They cause burning or stinging pain to the skin, and if ingested in large amounts by adults or small amounts by children, can produce nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain and burning diarrhea. Eye exposure produces intense tearing, pain, conjunctivitis and blepharospasm.

Unless you wish to intentionally feel awful for several hours on end, you don’t want to come anywhere near this burger. However, if you like to spend your evening watching people go into shock and run around screaming, stop by Chunky’s Burgers. You don’t have to get the Four Horsemen Burger, but don’t be a big baby. At least throw some jalapeños on there.

Stay tuned to SpicyRV.com for more adventures on our way to the National Fiery Foods & BBQ Show in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

-Jay Rascoe, A.K.A. GunsandTacos